Friendship – for me, a touchy subject. Throughout my life, I’ve been apart of different friendship groups: from my friends from school, my friends from swimming clubs, friends from work and my friends I’ve met abroad. However, despite all these ‘friendship’ groups never have I been someones ‘first choice’. Now, what I mean by this is I’m never the first person for one of my friends to ask to meet up with; this is really disheartening to me. Seeing people post on social media their days out or adventures they’ve gotten up to recently with their friends really makes me envious. Now as petty as it seems, it really makes me feel empty; I long to have someone to actually ask me what I’m up to, or something simple like going out for some lunch. One of the hardest parts for me is a lot of my friends living a couple of hours away – this really limits making plans with them as 90% of the time the plans you make to see them never go ahead despite the fact of them saying how much they miss you and wish they could see you. Although I still do see what I have of friends at work and swimming, I don’t see them out of those particular areas which relates back to being someones ‘first choice’.
Hopefully, one day, I will be someones first choice. I won’t be the one who spends all their spare time at home because they have no one to go to or see. But for now, I’m still waiting for that moment to come.